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consent is sexy

Rose Fractal
More than once, I've come across the complaint that the need to ask for consent isn't sexy. I disagree, and in my current story-in-progress, I wrote a scene that is all about consent:

"May I?" he whispered.

I nodded, and he brushed his lips against mine.

I stretched up on my toes and kissed him back, then drew a sharp breath at my temerity, but his expression was one of grave delight.

"I forgot to ask," I said. "I'm sorry."

He touched his fingertips to my cheek. "You may, you may, you may again."

Three more times I kissed him.

"You may," he said again, his voice low and rough.

"You may," I replied.

And so we progressed, kiss by kiss, touch upon touch, throughout the evening and the night, until we lay entangled in each others arms, having taken love and given it in return a hundredfold. Even as I lay drifting into sleep, I knew I would not forget Taavi Matlik, nor this night. He was as tender a lover as I had imagined, and with him, laughter came easily, and passion followed soon after, a quick flame burning hot and bright, until it ebbed to a warmth that eased us back to laughter and then a silence that fell soft and slow. Poised on the edge of sleep, I could only think that he had fitted to me, in body and spirit, so perfectly, it was as though he and I had been fashioned for one another.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
marthawells
Dec. 16th, 2012 02:24 pm (UTC)
That was lovely. There should be a meme, "post a short scene from your book, story, etc showing how consent is sexy."
beth_bernobich
Dec. 16th, 2012 02:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you. And I think that would be a splendid meme. You could post a snippet with Jade and Moon, no?
marthawells
Dec. 16th, 2012 02:44 pm (UTC)
Yes, I think I'll do that!
lyonesse
Dec. 16th, 2012 02:29 pm (UTC)
that's lovely :)

have you read about the baltimore victoria's secret pink consent hack? it's brilliant.
beth_bernobich
Dec. 16th, 2012 02:40 pm (UTC)
Oh my. I LOVE that hack.
livejournal
Dec. 16th, 2012 02:59 pm (UTC)
Consent Meme, and Links
User marthawells referenced to your post from Consent Meme, and Links saying: [...] has a post here: Consent is Sexy [...]
queenoftheskies
Dec. 16th, 2012 03:23 pm (UTC)
That was beautiful. I agree that consent is sexy.
beth_bernobich
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I wish the rest of this story was as easy to write. This scene just *poured* out of me.
cathellisen
Dec. 16th, 2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
Oh that's lovely.
beth_bernobich
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
alankria
Dec. 16th, 2012 05:42 pm (UTC)
I love that.
beth_bernobich
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Now I just have to write the middle. *weeps in despair*
ritaxis
Dec. 16th, 2012 05:56 pm (UTC)
Oh good, I am not the only one who thought the Antioch Rules were a delightfully sexy thing to introduce to young people. I thought it was really sad that people didn't jump on the bandwagon at the time.
beth_bernobich
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
I don't get the reaction against explicit consent, either. Consent isn't hard, and really, knowing your partner is enthusiastic? Just *adds* to the fun of sex, imo.
rose_lemberg
Dec. 16th, 2012 07:41 pm (UTC)
It's really wonderful. Thank you.
beth_bernobich
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:07 pm (UTC)
I'm glad it worked for you.

I need to write a follow-up at some point. The thing for me is, this scene was not hard to write. It was fun and delightful, and followed directly from the characters and their story. And I had another experience earlier this year, when I decided to write a story centered around women. That too was easy. So any arguments about how hard it is to focus on women, or adding consent? I don't buy it.
mercwriter
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:23 pm (UTC)
That was wonderful and lovely. Thank you for sharing!
aulus_poliutos
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
Very nice.

The other snips I clicked through via the links, too.

And you know what you just did? Made me finally tacke that sex scene from my Nano which I left half finished because it's so tricky. (I write out of order, so it's not an issue to leave a scene to simmer a bit longer.)
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )